Dear Dawgs,

So apparently Senioritis is a second-semester thing, but my grades are rainbow and Mr. Nomura is threatening to take everything I love away from me. How do I convince everyone that having rainbow grades is actually super cool and not lame?

Academically,

Checked Out and Ready To Go

Dear Checked Out and Ready To Go,

Don’t worry, you’re in good company; rainbow is my favorite color as well! Lots of other students have multicolored grades on the Source, so rest assured you are not alone. And when it’s the second semester of your senior year… who cares anyway? As long as you are on-track to graduate, have a blast and party hard! Less time working now means more time preparing for the summer where you’ll have a ton of time to party while you dread life after high school! All you gotta do is show up for just a couple of classes, put in 10% effort and proudly claim your D-. The rest of the time, just skip! 

Sincerely,

Dawgs

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Dear Dawgs,

Help; I;ve started using semicolons in place of all other punctuation; I hate that I can;t help but use them; all my smiley faces have started to wink 😉 I’m getting desperate;

Sincerely;

Spellcheck Needer

Dear Spellcheck Needer;

In solidarity; I will participate in this punctuation plight as well; Out of the all the symbols to get stuck with this; this appears to be the most ideal one; It is obviously the most important mark; if you type correctly; your right pinky should land on the semicolon when it;s resting on the home row of your keyboard; This makes it the only non-letter character to earn that privilege; I am quite a fan of semicolons; I use them all the time in my writing; so much so that some are beginning to believe that I used AI; I do fear the same fate for you; dear writer; You may have to get used to explaining your predicament to friends and family quite frequently; Is your situation technical or psychological; Is it a computer issue; in which a restart might prove fruitful; or is it a mental barrier; your brain refusing to recognize any other symbols; locking in on the dot and comma; If it is the latter; Mr. Snyder may be able to assist; he teaches Psychology which is essentially like being a therapist; I pity your situation, and hope that you find a remedy soon;

Sincerely;

Dawgs