The Garfield Messenger

The Chelan Bit-Rush

What do you do when factories are filled with high-power CPUs?

Ben Thomas and Griffin Hintze • May 8, 2021

Chelan County is quietly becoming the latest region to go through a peculiar and highly specific trend: closing down its aluminum factories and opening up bitcoin mines in their place. Why? What...

Undercover Officers in Asian-American Communities

What are cities doing to combat AAPI hate crimes?

Alwin Ma • May 8, 2021

Imagine yourself, taking a walk outside with your dog, when suddenly someone hits you in the head, pushes you, and starts yelling racial slurs at you. In the past year, experiences like these were happening...

News Briefs

May 2021

Kien-Binh Vo, Staff • May 8, 2021

Meme is worth $490,000 as an NFT With the current rise of NFT’s, or Non-Fungible Tokens, many digital artists and influencers are able to sell ownership of digital media as a form of cryptocurrency....

New Schedule Shuffle

The new schedule has been met with mixed feelings.

Zac Meyer • May 6, 2021

The wait is finally over. After more than a year, Garfield’s educators and students have returned to the building for in-person learning. Students have been split into three “cohorts” – identified...

Important Dates

Unrelated to April Fools, here are some dates to look out for.

Molly Chapin • April 9, 2021

The Music Department Mixtape

Behind the scenes: Garfield music teachers' secret rap careers.

Matt Lord • April 9, 2021

If you think you know Garfield’s music teachers, think again. Jared Sessink, Blake Saunders, and Bryan Kolk have been secretly recording trap bangers after hours at Garfield, and are ready to release...

The College Board Apologizes

Is this a publicity stunt?

Alwin Ma, Staff • April 9, 2021

Disclaimer: This is a satirical opinion article, and the sentiments within this piece do not necessarily reflect the Messenger's views as an organization. The College Board. The non-profit organization...

Garfield Graffiti

A recent string of graffiti has left Garfield students and staff stumped.

S. Avalon Leonard and Julia Wartman • April 9, 2021

On the morning of April 5th, faculty entered our beloved Garfield High School building for the first time in over a year to begin training for school re-opening, and were shocked to find a variety of messages...

Shaw’s Quote Corner

A collection of the best quotes from Mr. Shaw. Enjoy!

Kai Vennemann, Staff • April 9, 2021

Below is a compilation of quotes from Garfield science teacher Zachary Shaw which students have collected over the past two years. We have taken great care to select those quotes which are most representative...

The Most Correct Bad Math

How you never learned fractions, your algebra teacher lied to you, geometry's a hoax, derivatives aren’t math, and proofs are actually creative.

Rylee Bundesmann and Kai Vennemann • April 9, 2021

How To Simplify Fractions When in doubt, take the simplest approach. It makes sense why teachers have kept this secret: it’s too good to be true! Bet You Didn’t Learn This In...

News Briefs: Two Lies & a Truth

International Maritime Organization announces “drivers test," Italian mafia turned gourmet cook, and self-administered vaccine mishaps.

Rylee Bundesmann and Adam Friesz • April 9, 2021

Small Waterway Drivers Test to be Required After the Ever Given cargo ship ran aground in Egypt’s Suez Canal in Egypt, blocking maritime trade for six days and causing a 244 ship traffic jam lasting...

Garfield’s Mascot Doggedly Comes Out as Against the COVID Vaccine

The GHS bulldog makes a controversial announcement.

Riley Perteet-Cantu • April 9, 2021

Disclaimer: This is a satirical opinion article, and the sentiments within this piece do not necessarily reflect the Messenger's views as an organization. In a shocking announcement appearing on...