The Garfield Messenger

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April 9, 2021

Garfield Bracket: What We Miss Most

You voted, now see the results.

Griffin Hintze and Zac Meyer • April 9, 2021

This intense competition pitted everything from school lunches to school sports against each other. See the winner below.

Important Dates

Unrelated to April Fools, here are some dates to look out for.

Molly Chapin • April 9, 2021

Cringe-Worthy Chronicles

Online-school stories that could have happened to you.

Liana Moore • April 9, 2021

Kikicrazypants “There was this one time when I participated in a local nonprofit group within walking distance of my house. I've been going there for almost my whole life and now I help them with...

Garfield Crossword

Test your knowledge of school trivia.

Benjamin Thomas • April 9, 2021

Complete this crossword to test your knowledge of Garfield trivia! Note: spaces between words count as "letters."

The Music Department Mixtape

Behind the scenes: Garfield music teachers' secret rap careers.

Matt Lord • April 9, 2021

If you think you know Garfield’s music teachers, think again. Jared Sessink, Blake Saunders, and Bryan Kolk have been secretly recording trap bangers after hours at Garfield, and are ready to release...

The College Board Apologizes

Is this a publicity stunt?

Alwin Ma, Staff • April 9, 2021

Disclaimer: This is a satirical opinion article, and the sentiments within this piece do not necessarily reflect the Messenger's views as an organization. The College Board. The non-profit organization...

Mad Libs: Easter

Autumn Henson, Staff • April 9, 2021

Disclaimer: This is a satirical opinion article, and the sentiments within this piece do not necessarily reflect the Messenger's views as an organization. Easter is like many other holidays. It...

Garfield Staff Superlatives

A toast to roasts.

Kai Vennemann, Liana Moore, Izzy Lamola, Simone Cielos, Julia Wartman, Grace Chinowsky, Rylee Bundesmann, Avalon Leonard, Lakelle Bridges, Riley Perteet-Cantu, and Kai Vennemann • April 9, 2021

In honor of April Fools and our upcoming return to in-person learning, the 2021 Messenger staff reached out to some of our most beloved teachers to create a Teacher's Superlative. Though we all enjoy poking...

nomadland review

the movie nomadnland, i reiview it

Nat Beaumon • April 9, 2021

Disclaimer: This is a satirical opinion article, and the sentiments within this piece do not necessarily reflect the Messenger's views as an organization. nomadland. it really makes you think about...

Garfield Traditions Tier List

Our rankings of the best to the worst Garfield traditions.

Griffin Hintze and Zac Meyer • April 9, 2021

Traditions tier list: A: Purple and White - In school (and after school) activities are entertaining for everyone. Messenger March Madness - Best Garfield sporting event of the year. B:...

Horoscopes: A Little Too Toxic

All of us have a little venom in our blood...

Izzy Lamola, Staff • April 9, 2021

Aries: WAA WAA Aries grow up. Not everything is about you and your 7 year old emotional intelligence. I’ll shut up now before you throw a temper tantrum but seriously GET A GRIP. Taurus: C’mon...